�

The night we almost took him in
I insisted that I come along
Even though by that point I had already started severing ties
Maybe the same thing that motivates a mother
To attend the electrocution of her child's murderer
Sent me along with him

I bit off all my fingernails
Riding in the back of the car
Without realizing what I was doing
Later my mother found the small pile
A pitiful folk-magic offering
And she laughed and felt sorry for me at the same time

Beforehand we took him out to eat
And watched him take careful bites of cheeseburger
Dip french fries thoughtfully in ketchup
We encouraged him to get a milkshake
As if this would somehow smooth things over
And make it all okay

When we got to the place
He sat on one side of the room
And my mother and I sat on the other
As if he might become dangerous
And we needed room to get a head start on him

When the doctor didn't come
And the jangling of keys
And the incoherent shouts of those far crazier than him
Started to wear on him
He sprang up and demanded to be taken home

On the way back to the car
I trailed behind
And felt like going crazy myself
Cursing, punching the air, taking out a gun and shooting him
But I just slumped silently in the back seat
And stared at the back of his head instead