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he's afraid to lose my friendship. he tells me i never call, am vague, heartless, just like everyone else. am replacing him, though i insist he can never be replaced. he sees only what i do wrong, and it makes him afraid.

his past has made him fearful. he's known only those to whom he didn't matter, and now i, who love him more than myself, who want nothing less than to let him go, can never calm his terror. he will always jump when he hears a noise, will always be looking around corners. will see me as another monster, when there are shadows.

he pushes me away, and though i hold my ground against it as best i can, he sees me stumbling back. and it makes him afraid.

a thesis: fear is its own prophecy fulfilled, and the prophet is doomed to blindness.