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12:34 am: My gut is wrenching and I can think of nothing else. I cannot eat, drink, sleep, or concentrate.
1:15 am: When do I give myself permission to call him? If I call him, does that mean he has won?
1:50 am: I am over being worried and have become raging mad.
2:38 am: I start calling emergency rooms. I start pacing. I am so angry that I start to become afraid of myself.
3:14 am: He calls. Oops, he forgot to tell me that he was working late.....again. Was he really at work? I am confident he's telling the truth. Or am I?

I am waiting to be loved.
I am waiting to be supported emotionally.
I am waiting to feel whatever it is one is supposed to feel when a relationship is healthy.
I am waiting for the day that I have enough confidence in myself that I can trust my instincts.

I am waiting.