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for a while i had an orphan mystique. i never mentioned my parents. i never mentioned my brother. i never mentioned my house. i just was where i was and it gave the impression that i was a lot older than all those babies who went home to their mothers and fathers siblings and suburban houses. you see, i've always had a get away plan, an escape route, a way to my true home because i've always been a bit disgusted with the life my parents lived. we know this story can't end well. we know how gatz became gatsby became like a dead leaf on his swimming pool because he was so obsessed with being who he thought he was that he couldn't even face reality. lately, it's become important for me to see myself not as better but as different. it's become important for me to see my family not as a force but as people. it's become important to have a room of my own and a chair at the kitchen table. i am where i am and sometimes that's home with my family and i'd be afraid to keep pretending otherwise.