�

toward the end of summer i waited for cooler days when i would feel settled, when i would feel at home, when everyone wasn't always leaving and coming and leaving again. i'm still waiting because every time i try to return somewhere i find it is not how i left it and i find it is not there for me to return to in the same way. i get the feeling i made mistakes and i am not supposed to be here now. one home is bluring into another and i'd really prefer just to get up and leave now in this lull before i start and have to stop in the middle of something.