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i didn't used to be so introspective or idolize people quite in the way i do now. i did like people, but always kept them just below me. and i still go back to that sometimes. it made me feel wonderful when he wrapped his arms around me and she (who pined for him) was far, far away. because he must have liked me more. i must be better than her.

and now i live in fear of my victims performing their every whim, putting them up on a pedestal (for if i fuck up again...that's it. i'm gone.)

and all my victims say they'd rather live without me.

and everyone says they'd rather live without me.