�

Mother:

Oma sometimes, Mommy sometimes

with her hair tightly curled, never straight though it looked better straight

and long and naturally black

shuffling around in pink house slippers

coral lipstick applied carefully, drawn and outlined with a faded lip pencil

never smiling at the grocery store

afraid someone wasn�t going to be able to understand her

afraid someone would tell her to go home

home to china

(�but we aren�t chinese,� i would say)

i wanted to stay home sick, to eat kimchi and rice and bibimbap and japchae with you,

watch cartoons on Nickelodeon like David the Gnome, The Littles, and Maya the Bee. . .

we�d sit on the floor, you�d paint your toes, and you�d call your mother, halmoni, far across the Pacific, crying

Ka, Ka

you�d say

go-

and i would peek around the corner

not understanding the flow of your words

and understanding everything

at the very same time