:::by sundry:::

Bumble and bumble Gentle Shampoo and Deeeeep Conditioner, I will always buy you. Your clean smell and your moisture-filled goodness makes me happy. Your ridiculous price makes me feel (via cognitive dissonance) that you really are working for a better tomorrow, hairwise.

Thighs, I will always pay attention to you. I will embark on peppy little diet and exercise regimes that occasionally turn you muscle-y and sleek, then lapse into slothlike pasta binges that leave you weak and squishy. The cycle will never be broken, thighs! I will stare pointedly at you in mirrors, and wedge you into bicycle pants that shame you. I will always be there for you!

Chris Isaak and Aimee Mann, I will always buy your CDs. You could produce an album titled "A Tribute to Journey" and I would STILL buy it.

Cat, I will always pet you. Despite the fact that odds are you will make an annoyed MRAP sound and swipe at me. You can leave fur everywhere in the house, including floating in beverages served to guests. You can even take a crap that melts the paint off the walls, followed by an extended sofa-destroying clawfest, and I'll still love you.

Caffeine, I will never give you up. If tonight on the 6:00 news Tom Brokaw sternly informs television viewers that you cause hair loss, massive facial lumps, and permanent diarrhea, I will calmly apologize to my husband about my future appearance/odor. Then I will inhale a Diet Coke. I feel that strongly about you, caffeine.

Self, I will always secretly believe you can dance and sing, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It's been observed that your dancing ability is on par with Elaine from Seinfeld, but I'm certain others are simply jealous of your natural rhythm and style. Sure, that one time a dog started howling when you sang "Happy Birthday", but surely that was merely a coincidence or perhaps even a statement of appreciation.

Paper, it's always been you. The dalliance with plastic...well, it was a phase.

<< 2002-03-26 @ 9:39 p.m. >>

| virgin | slut | about | bitch | bitch more | brains |
| call us | girls' night out | dressed us up |
| man in our lives |

receive an e-mail when femmeproject is updated:

email:
Powered by NotifyList.com